Samtosha Reboot

2:42 SAMTOSAD ANUTTAMAH SUKHA LABHAH
By contentment, supreme joy is gained

This week I've been struggling with finding SAMTOSHA, or contentment. This doesn't mean that I've been feeling particularly sad, but instead I've felt a strong yearning. A yearning for my practice to be something else, for my body to look like someone else, for my life to be like someone else. Now you'd think with a daily yoga practice I would know what to do when these feelings arise. But alas, my sadhana is still gaining strength and it is hard work rewiring pathways in your brain that have had 30 years to become established.

What I should have done was increase my meditation, maybe 2x / day for longer sittings. What I did do, was avoid my meditation practice and when the tough got going, this yogini went shopping. That's right, I bought a new $50 yoga shirt, from everyone's favorite yoga boutique in town. It was supposed to energize my practice that day. It was the only piece missing from my already cumbersome yoga wardrobe. Problem is, it made me feel worse.

Desikachar says, "The body and mind are suited to certain patterns of perception, and these tend to change gradually through yoga practice It is said in the Yoga Sutra that people alternately experience waves of clarity and cloudiness when first beginning a yoga practice"(The Heart of Yoga).

While I began a daily practice over a year ago, seeing as I plan on remaining a yogini for another 60 or so years, one might say that I am a beginner. I take comfort in Sutra 1:30, "There are nine types of interruptions to developing mental clarity: illness, mental stagnation, doubts, lack of foresight, fatigue, overindulgence, illusions about one's true state of mind, lack of perseverance and regression (The Heart of Yoga).

In other words, this is a regularly scheduled interruption, or bout of regression with my practice of samtosha. Yogis have been dealing with said interruptions for just about 2,000 years. Even better, Patanjali offers advice to combat these bothersome interruptions in the following sutras by way of pranayama, meditation on the senses, meditation on life itself and seeking the council of a guru.
In thinking this through further, I find that maintaining samtosha is something I struggle with often and it's no wonder. In the society we live in, we are constantly bombarded with marketing images that tell us that we need a whole host of new things outside of ourselves to be happy. A new car, a smaller waistline, a new house, new clothes etc. The environment we are bathed in tells us we are not whole as we are and trains us to seek outwards for happiness and satisfaction, not within. We begin this conditioning the moment we are old enough to watch Saturday morning cartoons . I, who work in media, should be hyper aware of this reality.

My teacher tells us, when you find yourself off track, recollect yourself and celebrate that moment, when you forcibly stop the samskara driven thought, behavior, karma. Then get back back to work. I think I'll go have a recollection party, enjoy my breath with some pranayama and then step onto my mat to find some satisfaction with my practice, in my body... just as it is this very moment. Namaste y'all!